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FROM THE BLOG

9 Non-Martha Ways to Survive the Holidays

Posted on December 15, 2014

Woman in a faintIt’s Chanukah this week and Christmas is just around the corner. Have you started to freak out yet? Or are you on top of your game? Do you have your plans all set? Is dinner at your house, or are you traveling? Feeling calm about everything?

Or not?

This time of year is always stressful for me. Buying gifts, getting the house in order for guests. Figuring out the meal(s), making sure there’s food in the house. And the list goes on.

If you have ADHD, multiply the stress by 100 or more. Sadly, most people, even family, don’t always understand what you’re going through.

  • “Just DO it- everyone else does”
  • “What’s so hard about setting a table?”
  • “Don’t be so sensitive over every little thing- you’re taking it the wrong way”

…etc. etc.

 Well, if you have ADHD, these things ARE difficult and our feelings DO get hurt easily. That’s all part of having ADHD.  But maybe this year, you can do things differently to make the holidays more enjoyable. Here are some ideas:

  1. Carry food in instead of cooking
  2. Consider eating out
  3. Have a potluck and ask your favorite cook to tackle the main dish
  4. Don’t invite critical people.
  5. Don’t invite any people- just have your immediate family
  6. Slow down the pace. Maybe instead of two parties, you have one.
  7. If you don’t want to GO to a party, just say no (but offer a kind excuse).
  8. Pare down the spending. Just because your kids want the latest and the greatest doesn’t mean you have to take out a second mortgage to make them happy
  9. Shop online for all your gifts and save yourself the headache (scroll down for ideas)

What can you do differently so that you can enjoy the holidays instead of stress over them? Share your thoughts in the comment section below.

**Need some help? Join The Queens of Distraction and we’ll get you through this, with loads of support from your fellow women with ADHD as well as from me. Join today HERE.

 

 


So I didn’t Make a Turkey! Shoot Me.

Posted on December 01, 2014

carryoutcontainers

 

Those of you who have been following me for a while now, know that one of my biggest ADD challenges has to do with, well…anything that pertains to the kitchen.

Just figuring out what to cook each night has been a chronic problem for me- one that dates back to when my children were little, when there was rarely a time that both liked what I put on the table.  That meant one or the other ate cereal every night. Or whatever their little hands could put together, since I refused to cook separate meals. To top it off, my husband hated pasta, which was one of two things both of my kids would happily eat. Wait, one had to have butter sauce and the other had to have tomato sauce (no meat). But hey, it was close!

One of the things I’ve dreaded the most in more recent years is holiday dinners. My mother was a gourmet cooking teacher and that always got me off the hook, as we’d have dinners at her home. But as she’s gotten older, she no longer can manage the cooking. So the task has been handed over to me, her only daughter.

In my own journey in understanding ADD and how to best work with it instead of against it, I’ve gotten to the point of accepting that it’s way too much stress to cook an entire holiday dinner (except for Chanukah, as my kids insist on the 3 staples I make each year that luckily, come out ok, if I say so myself).

But…Thanksgiving? Umm…no way. So…I order carry out Thanksgiving food and bring it to my elderly parents. You’d think that would be an easy task, right?

Not if your ADD is like mine. Which means, my executive functioning disappears as soon as I walk into a kitchen.

Carryout means heating up food. Simple enough, one would think.  But it still involves timing, organizing, planning, and all the rest. The 10 bags of food I brought into my mother’s kitchen contained two pages of instructions. Bonus! Now, that is a good deal, considering how much I spent on the food!

But still, it threw me off. Each pan required different cooking times. Some said to take the lid off. Some needed different oven temperatures. And since I don’t know my way around my mother’s kitchen as well as I should (SHOULD? That should never been in our ADD vocabulary), I unpacked the items and did what I normally do when cooking is involved.

I froze. I stared at the aluminum pans. I opened each one cautiously, peeking in carefully as if a viper might strike out at me.

If you don’t have ADD, you don’t know how embarrassing it can be for a grown woman to have no clue as to how to heat up an entire READY MADE dinner (let alone cook one). Of course, there are exceptions- many women with ADD are exceptional cooks. But not me.

Luckily, my daughters were there to help. My oldest looked at me, squinting, waiting to see if she’d be called on to bail me out. The youngest, my ADD girl, grabbed her sliced ham and microwaved it, oblivious to the rest of the options she’d have before her. She must have known it would be a good two hours before I’d figure things out. Self-preservation is the name of her game.

My parents’ caregiver came up with an incredible solution. She took out her smart phone, read the directions for each pan, then set up a schedule, along with timers and beepers. She became my executive functioning as she barked out orders to me:

“Ok- put the sliced turkey in the 350 oven but keep the lid on. Throw the mashed potatoes in there, too- the lid comes off in 15 minutes and I’ll tell you when the time comes. You can squeeze in that small container of asparagus, but that only needs 15 minutes total, so I’ll tell you when to put that in.”

…and so on.

What was this? A game of Tetris?

With her help, her guidance and my older daughter’s helping hands and suggestions (“mom- don’t forget to put on the oven mitts!”), we made it through another Thanksgiving dinner.

How does your ADD impact holiday meals? Share your thoughts in the Comment section below.

 

 


Top 20 Gifts for Kids and Adults with ADHD

Posted on November 26, 2014

 

Copy of Santa Terry copy

Uh oh. It’s…holiday time and not always an easy time if you are a shopper with ADHD.

Relax. Avoid the mobs…the crowded parking lots, the noise, lights…it can all be too much.  Why not relax at home and do all of your holiday shopping at YOUR convenience?

CLICK HERE to see my hand-picked Top 20 Gifts for Kids and Adults with ADHD and lots of these items are on sale TODAY.

Happy Holidays!

PS: Become a member of The Queens of Distraction at 20%+ off membership until Dec. 1- register today HERE!