Every week, Thursday nights, in my Queens of Distractiononline coaching group, we have a new topic that I throw out for discussion. The other week it was: “AM I THE ONLY ONE?– SHARE YOUR QUIRKY IRKIES, i.e offbeat ADD traits.How can you turn around your quirkiness and look at them as strengths?”It was fascinatingbecause many of my members realized that they certainly were not the only ones who did this or that or who struggled with what they thought were unusual behaviors or traits (“I’m not the only one who can’t tolerate wrinkles in my sheets?”). It was an evening of healing, I thought, especially when we took a deeper dive and talked about turning around our self-deprecation, our embarrassment and shame for essentially having an ADHD brain, and learning that we can use these things to our advantage.
For example, many of us have a hard time making social connectionsbecause others don’t seem to “get” us. If you re-frame that and think: ‘well, what is it they don’t get about me?’. It could be that you are a divergent, creative thinker. Or that you are seen as “off-beat” because you volunteer as a clown on weekends. Or that you play bass guitar in a rock band. My response to that is to start thinking about where you can find potential friends who share your interests, your passions- people who celebrate your differences. Stop trying to fit in!
Quirky can mean creative. Quirky can mean bold- being strong enough to just be yourself and not fall prey to expectations. Quirky can be humor. Quirky can be a strong sense of self.
If you’re super sensitive, that can be a wonderful advantage. You can find a career in the helping field, lose yourself in art or music, rescue animals, write poetry. Seek out other sensitive souls! The idea here is to stop pathologizing your ADHD. See it more as a trait. Not that I’m minimizing your struggles with time management, memory, disorganization, etc., but let’s start searching for ways to celebrate our differences vs hiding because of them. Are you ready to take that step?
I’d love to hear from youand how you see yourself as quirky, because trust me, you aren’t alone and it’s time to stop hiding. In fact, here are a few of mine:
- I cannot tolerate touching anything sticky. I come close to freaking out. Yes, my family finds that very funny. I don’t.
- I cannot hear people talking to me unless I look at their lips- I probably have some kind of auditory processing issue. Thus, I hate HATE the telephone.
- I actually *do* play guitar, bass, piano, drums. And I’m still looking for a band!
- I eat the same breakfast every single day.
- I’m still afraid of “killers” hiding under my bed.
- I can’t watch TV for more than 15 minutes, but I can be on the computer for 5 hours.
What about you? Please share your quirkiness in the comment section of my blog, below.