Ode to Annie

Saturday, June 21. 2008

Annie

It’s been two weeks and only now can I bring myself to write about the loss of my beloved dog, Annie. It’s hard to describe to non- pet owners how a dog or cat can be loved as much as a family member and how deeply their death can affect us.

I also think that when you have special challenges, whether it’s ADHD, anxiety, depression, or whatever…that the relationship you have with your pet takes on more significance. Our vulnerabilities often kick in the minute we leave the house, as we face classmates, co-workers and bosses. We often struggle with self doubt, insecurity, low self esteem and more. Yet when we return home, a snuggly wet kiss from our pet can make us feel whole again. No scrutiny, no judgments. We are loved, no questions asked.

In my case, Annie was the rock that steadied me as I navigated the daily challenges of raising a child with special needs. When the house became too crazed by hyperactivity, moodiness, temper tantrums, frustrations with the school… I knew I could briefly isolate myself in another room with Annie or take a break outside with her to catch my breath.

She was totally predictable in my unpredictable day to day life. When I’d leave the house, she’d wait- for hours- sitting on the couch and staring out the window for my anticipated arrival. I’d be greeted at the side door by Annie, with a shoe or phone in her mouth- her “gift” to me.

She’d only eat when I’d eat. I swear this is true. I’d sit down for a meal knowing I’d only have to get back up to fill her bowl; she’d watch me, then bark the minute I’d sit down. Annie, therefore, insisted on eating three meals a day.

Always by my side- at my feet- Annie was an extension of my body. Not having her here now is like having lost an arm or leg.

So I am dedicating this blog in her memory. Thank you, Annie, for 14 years of devoted companionship. Ok, well…12. Your first two years were total insanity. If a dog could have ADHD, you’d be the poster pup. You were also ODD (oppositional defiant), OCD (everything had to be just a certain way). You had issues with food- it took months before I found a kibble you’d accept happily. You were also extremely jealous. Though friendly- overly friendly at times- if anyone came too close to me, you’d stare at them with dagger eyes. You had separation anxiety, too. When I was out of town, you barely ate and wouldn’t leave your station on the couch, watching for me. You also were passive/aggressive. As much as you wanted me back home, you’d also punish me for leaving by knocking all the phones off the hook. Every day, without fail. And when you became too weak to get to every room that housed a phone, you still found the energy to whack the one in my office.

You succeeded in breaking my heart two weeks ago, when that tumor gripped your heart, forcing me to make a decision that all pet owners dread.

I miss you Annie.

Posted by Terry at 23:38 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

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