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Join me on Dr. Ned Hallowell’s Podcast: Parts 1 and 2 on Women with ADHD

Posted on February 21, 2018

Terry Matlen Dr Ned Hallowell

My dear friend, Dr. Ned Hallowell, invited me as his guest two weeks in a row, on his fabulous podcast,Distraction“, where we talked about Women with ADHD and answered listeners’ questions.

Click here for Part 1:
Click here for Part 2:

What did we talk about?

Part 1: Hormones, toxic relationships, social isolation and much more, including lots of Q/A.

Part 2:
Diagnosis, depression, migraines, estrogen levels, executive function, chemotherapy, and heightened sensitivities.

…..and more Q/A!

WHEN? Anytime!
Online on Ned’s Distraction Podcast.

Click the links below to listen:

Part l:
Part 2:

Moms with ADHD Reveal Lessons They’ve Learned in Handling Parenting Challenges

Posted on February 20, 2018



Often, I’m interviewed for articles at This latest one talks about parenting issues when mom has ADHD:

You’re a mom who has ADHD, and you’re in the thick of mothering. Maybe you’re in the thick of toddlerhood, besieged by big tantrums and bleary-eyed after one-too-many sleepless nights. Maybe you’re in the thick of adolescence, trying to traverse schedules and emotional roller coasters. Maybe you have several kids, and find yourself frustrated and stressed out over all the logistics.

Maybe none of the above describes your situation. But you still feel utterly inadequate and unsure and panicked that you’re parenting all wrong.

You’re not alone.

Continue reading at the PsychCentral site HERE

Who Is the Real You?

Posted on February 17, 2018

The real you

Cut Clutter: Ask Yourself This One Question

Posted on February 17, 2018


Join me on Dr. Ned Hallowell’s Podcast on Women with ADHD!

Posted on February 13, 2018

Terry Matlen Dr Ned Hallowell

Join me on Dr. Ned Hallowell’s podcast, “Distraction!”


My dear friend, Dr. Ned Hallowell, recently invited me to chat with him and answer (excellent) questions from women with ADHD.

What did we talk about? In the first of two series, we chatted and answered questions, including:

  • How women’s changing hormones affect ADHD symptoms
  • Why some women with ADHD find themselves in toxic “train wreck” relationships
  • Why some women are isolated socially and what you can do about it

…..and more!

WHEN? Anytime!
WHERE? Online on Ned’s “Distraction” Podcast.

Click HERE to listen.




Posted on February 05, 2018



Palooza Long Banner


Want to be part of changing the way the world looks at women with ADHD? You can! My colleague and co-founder of the Palooza, Linda Roggli, has developed a ground-breaking online event and you are invited!  

The Third Annual ADHD Women’s Palooza begins February 5th, and runs through February 10, 2018. It will be an extraordinary week of insight and answers exclusively for women with ADHD, presented by 33 ADHD Legends and Luminaries including: Dr. Ned Hallowell, Sari Solden, Dr. Thomas E. Brown, Dr. Stephanie Sarkis, and many more…

Don’t miss my session! 

What: Scratchy, Loud, Bright, Tight: Sensory Overload & ADHD

When: Wednesday, Feb. 7 at 12 noon EST.

Find out more and  register here!


10 Tips for Parents of ADHD Kids: How to Keep your Marriage Healthy and Alive

Posted on February 02, 2018


Raising a child with ADHD or other special challenges puts a strain in even the most stable of marriages. Recent studies show that such marriages are at a higher risk of ending in divorce.

All relationships and marriages require diligent work and open communication in order to survive and stay healthy. But add children with ADHD or other special needs and those requirements become paramount in keeping the marriage alive and well. Below are ten tips to keep your marriage on track when you have a child with ADHD in the mix.

10 Tips for Improving your Marriage 

1. ** Remove yourself emotionally** from the child-related problems at hand and focus on your partner. Too often, we get sucked up in the daily dramas of raising our very challenging children and forget the emotional needs of our partners and ourselves. One way to help do this is to think back to the early days of your courtship and marriage and to re-live the feelings you had and what drew you to your partner in the first place.

2. Spend time with your spouse with the understanding that there will be NO discussion of the children. The focus is only on each other.

3.Improve communication skills. After a long day at work or a full day of caring for children at home, the temptation is to “dump” all of your frustrations on your partner at the end of the day. Instead, write down your aggravations as an emotional release, then discuss them with your partner after you’ve each had time to settle down, had dinner and feel emotionally ready to handle this. By then, some of the intensity may decrease, making it easier to problem solve without feeling overwhelmed with emotions.

4. Never finger point and accuse. State the issue at hand as a problem so as not to alienate your spouse. For example, instead of shrieking to your husband that he doesn’t do enough to help you with your son’s homework, state it as a problem needing to be solved, i.e.: “Danny gets overwhelmed with his homework after putting all of his energy into getting through a day at school. After dealing with the school staff and Danny’s explosive behaviors when he comes home, my patience is gone and we’re at each others’ throats. Every day is a battle ground and we both lose. What do you think we can do to make homework time less stressful?”

5. Make sure that your child’s ADHD treatment is optimal. If he’s on medication, make sure the dosage and type is best suited for his flavor of ADHD. If he’s having trouble in school, discuss your concerns with school staff and see if he qualifies for special help. If his behavior is a problem, seek out professional counseling or consult with the school psychologist.

6. Since ADHD is highly genetic,there’s a good chance that either parent might have undiagnosed and untreated ADHD. If you see symptoms, get yourself or your spouse evaluated and treated Raising challenging children also takes a toll on ones’ self-esteem and confidence, often causing anxiety and depression. If you or your spouse is struggling, consider counseling to help with the emotions and difficulties you are dealing with. “Special” families have more on their plate and an extra hand in the way of professional support can do wonders for the entire family.

7. Seek out support groups such as CHADD, where you and your spouse can go for education and help. Hearing other parents share similar problems can often help you in dealing with yours, while learning new strategies to help your marriage survive. Find the closest CHADD chapter to you by visiting their website at .

8. Dear Abby may not always have been right, but heed her advice about getting marriage counseling when things seem to be going off course. Make sure you find someone who understands the challenges of raising children with ADHD and/or other special needs.

9. Take time away with your spouse sans the kids. Your relationship needs to be nurtured and taking vacations, even if for just a day or two, is imperative in keeping your love alive.

10. Take parenting classes. If you can help keep your child on an even keel, there will be less stress in the family and marriage. You and your spouse need to work as a team and having the right tools to improve your parenting skills will go a long way in improving family life.

What works for you? Please share in the Comment section below.

Feeling Impulsive? Read this First! (10 Tips to Help Curb your Impulses)

Posted on February 02, 2018

crazy housewife


My guess is that the title of this piece drew you in because you’re the type of person, probably one with the “hyperactive/impulsive” component to your brand of ADHD, who is apt to jump into an activity, project or life experience that has been dangerous to you in the past. Perhaps you took someone up on their dare and signed up for bungee jumping. Maybe you found your “soul mate” on the internet and met him/her in real life before learning more about him and whether he was someone you could be safe with. Or perhaps you yelled at your boss, not thinking about the consequences of losing your job.

If this sounds like you, read on. Better yet, print this out and tape it to an area in your house that is highly so you can refer to it when that impulsive “itch” strikes again.

Impulsivity and hyperactivity often go together. Your mind often doesn’t think of the consequences of your behavior as you find your body moving in a direction that might not be healthy or safe for you in the long run. Your brain is thinking about the present- right now- and the excitement and thrill of an activity you are about to embark on.

Things to Think about When Impulsivity Strikes. Of course, this isn’t an easy thing to do. Impulsivity means doing things without thinking carefully and thoughtfully. So this will take some practice on your part.

1. Whatever it is that is pushing you to move without thinking, play the entire episode in your mind, from beginning to end. Sometimes, coming to the end using a mental image, helps you to realize that perhaps the activity isn’t quite as fun or exciting as it seemed.

2. Write it down. In excruciating detail. This, like #1, will help you to slow down and think carefully about what you’re about to do. Chances are, once it’s played out, you’ll lose interest in pursuing it.

3. Research. Even if you already know the dangers of unprotected sex with a stranger, go online and read the statistics of you catching a STD and whether it’s really worth endangering your life for a night of excitement.

4. Promise yourself to wait 24 hours before following through with your plan.

5. Find a safe person you can talk to- someone who is less impulsive; a person who might even seem too cautious in your mind- and ask his opinion on what you plan to do.

6. Keep a diary of past adventures. Were they worth it? Did you hurt yourself or people you love? Refer back as often as possible to help you curtail repeated mistakes.

7. Know your triggers. If, for example, you absolutely cannot stop yourself from spending your entire paycheck at the casino, then either avoid going, or if that’s too impossible, bring an envelope with the amount of cash you CAN afford to lose and leave your debit/credit cards at home. If hormonal changes cause you to be so irritable that you find yourself saying inappropriate things to your boss, co-workers, family or friends, seek medical attention. Nowadays, there are medications to ease the irritability during your menses.

8. Find healthier outlets. You’ve read it before hundreds of times, but regular exercise and meditation do wonders to keep yourself in better control. If sitting and meditating seem impossible, take up the various moving meditations or learn karate or other physical activities that combine mindfulness with movement.

9. Make sure you’re receiving appropriate treatment for your ADHD. If you still find yourself getting into all sorts of trouble, it could be that the medication you are on is not covering your symptoms adequately. Consult your physician to discuss other options, which simply might mean an increase in your dosage or a change to another ADHD medication.

10. Remind yourself that for every action you take, there is a reaction. It could be how your behaviors affect your physical and mental health, your relationships with your loved ones, or even your spiritual well being.

The big question of all: is it worth doing for the temporary thrill of it all? What could you do instead that will be exciting and fun, but without the potentially negative consequences?

How do you manage your impulsivity? Please share in the comment section below.






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How ADHD Made Me the “Queen of Distraction”

Posted on January 09, 2018



Since you’re reading my blog post at this very moment, you know that my life work, my passion, is helping women with ADHD. But most of you probably don’t know what led me to this path.

So today I’m sharing my personal story. I hope it gives you not only insight into who I am, but more importantly, I hope it helps you to understand how something that’s happened to you in your life can lead you to a happier, more fulfilling life journey.

I hear so many women with ADHD say they hate their jobs, their marriages, their lives. It’s never too late to change and hopefully this will give you some inspiration. That’s not to say that my life is easy street- not at all. I’m caring for two people I love deeply who are struggling with significant medical/brain challenges.

And of course, I have my own personal issues to deal with, as we all do.

I am a contributing writer at and wrote this piece, below, that they published online recently. I hope you find it helpful.


How ADHD Made Me the “Queen of Distraction”


Like many women juggling work, raising children, and maintaining a home, I used to spend my days feeling totally overwhelmed — often before I’d even stepped outside my door. I’d wake up exhausted and slip into bed late at night even more exhausted. At the time — the mid-1980s — I had no idea that part of my struggle was due to undiagnosed ADHD.

What should I make for dinner? Where is that paper that the teacher needed me to sign? Why can’t I tame the clutter monster that invaded my house?

The shame I felt over my lack of domestic skills paralyzed me. I felt like I just couldn’t get my act together.

Continue reading HERE.



ADHD and Hypersensitivities

Posted on December 28, 2017

sensory overload



Little is written about ADHD and hypersensitivities, yet those of us who are touched by ADHD as adults or who are parenting ADHD kids know full well how it can affect us and those we love. Children with ADHD are notorious for being picky eaters. They complain about textures, food smells or having food touching on their plate. They often hate pants with snug waist bands, shirts with tags, socks with seams…and the list goes on.

Since distractibility is a cornerstone symptom of ADHD, being overly sensitive to ones’ environment only adds to the problem. There’s often the difficulty of filtering out noise, smells, etc., which leads to an increase in the distractibility.

According to Temple University researcher Kristie Koenig, Ph.D, OTR/L: “Many children with ADHD also suffer from sensory processing disorder, a neurological underpinning that contributes to their ability to pay attention or focus.” She and her colleagues authored a research study titled, “Comparative Outcomes of Children with ADHD: Treatment Versus Delayed Treatment Control Condition. In it, they explored whether ADHD related problems would decrease if underlying sensory and neurological issues were treated with occupational therapy. They note that children with ADHD “either withdraw from or seek out sensory stimulation like movement, sound, light and touch. This translates into troublesome behaviors at school and home.”


Not surprisingly, many adults with ADHD also suffer from hypersensitivities. But more often than not, they hide these discomforts as best they can, embarrassed by their differences and difficulties. Having spoken to hundreds of adults with ADHD, here is a short list of common hypersensitivities that have been shared with me:

  1. Strong negative reaction to perfumes; aversions to various odors such as cigarettes, burnt foods, car fumes, etc.
  2. Vertigo/dizziness on amusement park rides
  3. Uneasiness with being hugged/kissed
  4. Pain when skin is gently touched
  5. Feeling overwhelmed to the point of panic at malls, concerts, stadiums, etc.
  6. Phobias
  7. Hyper reactivity to sudden noise and touch
  8. Panty hose
  9. Synthetic clothes
  10. Car/boat/air sickness
  11. Migraines
  12. Temperatures: feeling too hot or too cold
  13. Movies: too loud, too overwhelming
  14. Crave being barefoot or conversely, need socks and shoes on all the time.
  15. Dislike beach and sand; sun too intense
  16. Uncomfortable wearing jewelry
  17. Acute hearing: hypersensitive to sounds others don’t hear: refrigerator, electric lights, people chewing, ticking clocks
  18. Strong flavors
  19. Difficulty with dental work
  20. Feelings of claustrophobia

Often, these hypersensitivities can create much difficulty. They can cause people to become not only irritable when faced with them, but even downright rageful. Relationships often are strained, particularly when the non ADD partner doesn’t understand the true nature of the pain and discomfort that is felt. Intimate moments can lead to disaster if the partner is unaware of the issues at hand.

Years ago, before I knew of my own hypersensitivities and ADHD, I had an interesting experience. In the dead of night, I awoke from the intense smell of skunk. Thinking our dog, which slept with us might have been sprayed, I woke up my husband and in a sleepy stupor, suggested we check the house for the offending skunk. Of course, he thought I was crazy, but I couldn’t doubt the strong smell radiating throughout the house.

After a quick search and finding nothing, we went back to sleep, with me nearly gagging from the horrific odor. A few hours later, my husband called me on his way to work to report that he saw a dead skunk lying in the road about a mile from our house

It’s important to understand that such hypersensitivities are commonly seen in ADHD – you are not alone! Do you have any you’d like to share?