10 Tips for a Peaceful Bedtime Routine When Your ADHD Child Refuses to Go to Bed
- Insist that all electronics and other stimulating toys and activities stop one hour before bedtime.
- Have a schedule and stick to it with rare exceptions. Post the schedule (in more than one place). For younger children, use diagrams or pictures from magazines.
Clearly state each step of the bedtime routine:
• What time the child must stop playing
• Any chores needed to be done (i.e. putting toys away)
• Snack time, if needed
• Wash up, brush teeth, bath/shower
• Change into pajamas
• Lights out
- Warm milk, warm bathes– they really do work.
- Even older children love one on one time with parents, whether it’s reading a book together, or sharing the day’s activities. Even many teenagers find this time together calming and special.
- Reward your child for every positive move in the right direction. For younger children, keep a jar and add coins to it every time they follow the bedtime schedule.
- Remember that children with ADHD get bored with routines quickly and though you want to try and make them the same each night, you’ll need to be creative in making that happen.
Once (long ago), I was so desperate to get my child to bed, I turned it into a Scavenger Hunt. I wrote each bedtime step on an index card and hid them. Each contained a clue where to find the next card, plus instructions on what needed to be done to get ready for bed. Another parent wrote all the bedtime routines on her child’s bathroom mirror using whiteboard markers. Think of other creative, novel ways to keep your child on track.
- Get help! There was a time when things were so difficult in my home, that I hired a sitter a few nights a week to help me. It truly saved my sanity. Insist that your spouse/partner also help. Consider trading off bedtime and morning responsibilities with your partner so neither of you becomes burned out.
- Sometimes the child seeks out stimulation by engaging parents in bedtime wars. Change YOUR habits- try different tactics that remove you from the scene as much as possible. You might be surprised that your child actually gets sleepy when the conflict with you disappears.
- Try sensory products (there’s a bunch HERE). When my daughter was very young, I purchased a special tent that sat on top of her bed. She loved to curl up with her stuffed animals. The security of the tent encompassing her had a calming effect.
You can also purchase a weighted blanket– these, too often have a calming effect on children with ADHD. Or…pile a lot of regular blankets on her.
- De-clutter your child’s room so that he isn’t stimulated visually by all the “stuff” in there or tempted to start playing with toys in the middle of the night.
Many children with ADHD simply cannot unwind at the end of the day. When their daytime meds wear off, their behaviors often become unmanageable and sleep impossible. Discuss with your child’s doctor whether a bedtime medication might be needed to help ease him into sleep.
Remember: you can’t force your child to sleep and you should never suggest that. But you can insist he stay IN bed and rest. Then let nature take its course.
Have some tips of your own to share? Drop a comment below in the comment section.
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Terry, I used to have each child’s photo on the top of the page with a check off box posted in different rooms with a pencil attached. Each day it listed every thing that that child needed to do in that room to help develop a routine. I didn’t need to yell or fight. If they chose not to comply they were making their own poor choice. That meant they they made the choice not to comply and didn’t get what they wanted. Tomorrow is a new day to make a better choice!
Terry, I used to have each child’s photo on the top of the page with a check off box posted in different rooms with a pencil attached. Each day it listed every thing that that child needed to do in that room to help develop a routine. I didn’t need to yell or fight. If they chose not to comply they were making their own poor choice. That meant that they made the choice not to comply, and didn’t get what they wanted. Tomorrow is a new day to make a better choice!
What a great idea. Can you tell me more, ie if they didn’t comply, say, for picking up their toys or going to bed, etc.- what were the consequences?