Here’s my list of what I’m exploring this week.

What I’m Saying

ADHD and Grieving: My Story

11 days ago, my dear mother passed away. She was 95 ½ years old.  She’d not been well for many years but the last year was really tough as her body and mind began to fade away.

Towards the end, she no longer knew who I was. For someone – me- with ADHD- I understood how memory can fail us. But when you see your own mother struggle and feel the confusion of daily life, it really struck home for me. She’d lost her ability to communicate, yet she greeted me each week with a huge smile, grabbed my hand, bringing it her mouth with a kiss.

As she began to fail, it hit me hard. I was losing her again- first through her memory loss, then physically, as she began to waste away.  Most of us will lose our parents at some point in our lives. With our ADHD, we may not really think about that, especially in our younger years. We get so busy with our lives- raising our kids, working, getting overwhelmed with our daily to-do lists and all the things that we manage, often with great difficulty.

I’m in my late 60s now and intellectually knew this time would come someday. But still, when I got “the call” (which I’d been expecting for a good week), it felt like a cannonball blew through me. On the one hand, I often said how lucky I was to still have a parent at my age. On the other hand, as much as I thought I was emotionally prepared to lose her, it still came as a surprise.

Where is the ADHD content in all of this? I will tell you: I don’t know. Not yet, because I’m still reeling from it all. I do know that I am more overwhelmed emotionally than some of my family members. I know that I had to shut down and go on autopilot. Is this from ADHD? Or is it normal shock and grief? I don’t know.

Here’s a few tips:

Don’t wait until it’s too late to make amends with someone you love. Of course, there are circumstances where that may not be a good choice for you.

Don’t wait to visit someone who is aging or failing. When you’re with them, be WITH them- in the present- even if they can’t understand you or reach out to you. They will feel your presence and be calmed by you.

Say what you need to say before it’s too late.

Maybe these are the ADHD clues: we procrastinate, we often avoid unpleasant things. Don’t let your ADHD get in your way. Work with a therapist if it is.

I’d sure like to hear from you what your experiences have been. Please do post your thoughts in the Comment Section below

What I Listen to When I’m Stressed

….or if you can’t fall asleep…like me, lately! I shared some last month with you but here’s a great one of a conductor who tapes the sound of her trains:

And here are videos of them:
https://www.youtube.com/railcowgirl. Check out her Facebook page for more: https://www.facebook.com/RailCowGirl.

What I’ll be Reading

I’m not at the point, yet, of reading books on grief, but here are a few that I may look into in the future.

Permission to Mourn: A New Way to Do Grief

By Tom Zuba

The Orphaned Adult: Understanding And Coping With Grief And Change After The Death Of Our Parents

By Alexander Levy

What I’m Listening To

The Beatles are always near and dear to my heart and this song seems to be appropriate.

I’ll follow the Sun

One day you’ll look
To see I’ve gone
For tomorrow may rain
So I’ll follow the sun

Some day you’ll know
I was the one
But tomorrow may rain
So I’ll follow the sun

And now the time has come
And so, my love, I must go
And though I lose a friend
In the end, you will know, oh

One day you’ll find
That I have gone
But tomorrow may rain
So I’ll follow the sun

Yeah, tomorrow may rain
So I’ll follow the sun

Listen to it HERE.

Favorite Instagram Meme

Hey! Follow me on Instagram for memes, quotes, and random “Terry Thoughts.”

What Else is New with Terry?

I’m on TikTok!

Enjoy short blurbs and tips for women with ADHD. C’mon in and visit me there: https://www.tiktok.com/@terrymatlen

Want to Hang Out with Me *and* Get Affordable Coaching? 

Then join The Queens of Distraction! 

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When you Need Help, I’m Here  

Talk to me- I understand. I get it. I have ADHD, too. And I can help.

I have a few slots open
 for online consultations via Zoom. These have become super popular, so if you’re looking to work with me one-on-one, grab an appointment. We meet live on Zoom (or you can request email consultations instead).
Learn more and sign up here.

Where to find Terry Matlen:

Website: www.ADDconsults.com
Coaching:  www.QueensOfDistraction.com
TikTok: http://www.tiktok.com/@terrymatlen
LinkedIN: www.linkedin.com/in/terrymatlen/

Wait: Like this article? Please leave your thoughts, resources, hacks, etc. in the comment section below. 

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ADHD- friendly disclosure: Some of the links above earn me a tiny commission at Amazon and elsewhere. The end.