Father’s Day comes and goes and we survive that well. We have carry out food. I am proud of myself for buying the gifts and cards two days in advance instead of the day of the event and even happier that I didn’t misplace them. We return home from Father’s Day Dinner to find that the a/c has died. Of course, our spring has been awfully cold and wet out here, so at first I wasn’t too bothered. Until I checked the weather forecast for this coming week and saw that we’re going to be hit by our first major heat wave of the season- temps in the 90s.

Did I mention we have no air?

The heating/cooling guy arrives to assess the problem. It must be a big problem because he’s here the entire day and still needs to bring in a second opinion guy.

Finally, the moment we’re all waiting for. Unfortunately my husband’s not here to interpret the lab findings for me.

This is what I hear:

Mrs. Matlen, the coil is hooked to the other unit and that’s not good because the old unit is not efficient and besides we don’t know if you’re under warranty because the new unit is only 3 years old and that should be under warranty but as this coil was pulled from the old unit and oh…do you have a crawl space? Cuz if you do, I’ll be able to see just where that coil is hooked up to. I’ll be right back. Ok, I’m back. Bad news. The last guy that worked on this used the old coil from the old unit and put it on the new unit. And oh, the compression blew out so I have to see if the whole unit is kapoot or if we can save it. But y’know, I have to check that other coil. Which by the way is spurting out your cold air into the crawl space and that’s a waste of energy. So I’ll have Mike come out and he’ll give you the options, there. But hmm…we should check out this whole thing cuz the other compressor, well that might be bad. We just don’t know. Whoever put that other coil in made a mess of things and y’know, it’s not cost-effective now cuz you’re losing cold air. And probably heat, too, in the winter. So if the old coil is no good, that’ll cost about $1,500. Unless the new coil is under warranty, in which case you have a few options.

Then I hear what I call the “blah blah blahs” because he’s lost me and I’ve given up.

“Do you want me to go over the options with you, Miss?”

Do you ever wonder if it’s your ADHD that makes every day life confusing to you? Or do some people actually follow these kinds of conversations and make sense of them?

It’s hot. I’m heading to the mall. Remind me to pick up a fan.

Wow, there’s been and continues to be a lot of discussion about sensory issues since I posted my blog on ADHD and Hypersensitivities.

You’ve shared lots of things that you are sensitive to, like wool, mouth noises, flip-flops, being tickled,certain kinds of shoes, pantyhose, bright lights, anything sticky….and the list goes on.
When I was on Blog Talk Radio yesterday, I raised the whole issue of hypersensitivities and it resonated with a lot of my listeners. What we can learn from all of this is that it’s time to stop fighting this and instead, figure out ways to deal with it.

For example..

I went clothes shopping today (have I mentioned how much I detest that activity?), as I needed a few things, including sandals for an outfit I’ll be wearing tomorrow to a wedding shower (have I mentioned how much I detest wedding showers?). The styles I saw were super cute but most had that darn THONG thing that cuts through your toes. I have NEVER been able to wear those, but figured I’d try once again. They looked soooo good on. But- I knew I would be miserable wearing them. Perhaps years ago, I might have bit the bullet- to try and conform to some degree ( though I never was very good at that) – by purchasing them and fitting in with everyone else.
Instead, I reminded myself that life is too short to walk around being physically miserable just to look good and be on top of things fashion-wise.

So I passed on them and instead got some super comfortable, but rather plain sandals, instead. Now I’ll be able to focus on the shower, the people, etc. instead of my feet.

As we think about these sensory issues and how they affect us, it’s important to realize the way our children react when they are uncomfortable. I’m sure we’d avoid many meltdowns if we, too, stopped fighting their hypersensitivities. So what if they insist on wearing sweatpants in summer? Many kids simply can’t tolerate tight fitting waistbands.
Others hate certain food textures, funny “smells” and well…hundreds of other irritating things.

One of the big offenders for kids- and adults with ADHD- is socks with seams. So when I found these seamless socks, I thought I’d share them with you. Check them out. Your child will thank you…and…they come in all sizes so the whole family can be happy!

Stop fighting the hypersensitivity war and find solutions, like these Seamless Socks.

…..here’s a link to the audio archive:

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/grammasgarden/2009/06/18/Welcome-To-Grammas-Garden-Party-Where-Nobody-Is-EVER-Told-To-Sit-Down-Shut-Up-Pay-Attention

Sorry this is last minute, but I will be the guest today at Gramma’s Garden, a Blog Talk Radio show on ADHD hosted by Pam Glidden.

Join me at 1pm EST today (June 18) where I’ll be talking about moms/women with ADHD. Info at http://tinyurl.com/njfsba

Got a question for me? Call it in 1pm-2 at (347) 308-8263

See you there!

School’s out and if you’re a mom with ADHD, you’re either laughing or crying. Laughing, maybe, because you don’t have to deal with homework battles, IEPs, worrying about your child’s academic success, him being bullied, issues with friends, etc.

Crying because now you have 2 1/2 months to figure out how to keep your child entertained, happy and out of trouble.

Last night, my daughter asked me the one question that always puts a chill up my spine. It’s not about sex. Or drugs. No, I’ve mastered those topics, for the most part. At least in terms of feeling comfortable discussing them.

No, what she asked was, “Mom, will you play Sorry with me?”

Ever since my kids were little, I have always hated playing board and card games. I hated sitting through the 50th video playback of Barney, Mr. Rogers, Raffi (is he still around?). Well, you get the picture. Certain kiddy activities are simply over the top dull. Well, for me, at least.

Board games are aptly named, in my opinion, because they bore me to death. Sitting at a table, waiting your turn, playing games that typically hold no strategy and seem to go on for a hundred hours, is not my idea of fun. I’ve struggled for years over this one, thinking I was a horrible mom for either going along with the request but detesting every painful minute, or avoiding it like the plague (“Sure, Mackenzie…just give me a few minutes while I , etc.).

I finally realized that this was a no-win situation. One of us would be unhappy. So over the years, if I simply could not fathom the idea of playing a ridiculously boring game with my daughter, I’d suggest a re-direct. The best “out” was running out to get ice cream- that always worked. We still had time together and we both ended up very happy.

But last night, I did play Sorry. And I lost. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet.

This past weekend, I woke up with a great idea: why not have a garage sale?

It was Saturday morning and of course, I hadn’t planned any of it ahead of time. But it just “felt” right. I’d remembered years ago when I had a garage sale and how much work was involved. So I decided to do something different this time around.

Instead of spending days grouping things and agonizing over prices, this garage sale would be a “pick your own price” event. I told my family that I didn’t want to be like everyone else in the neighborhood (ha, like that’s going to happen…), so they finally agreed to go along with my plan.

I spent all of 2 hours running through the house and basically grabbing things I normally would have tossed or given to charity, then my husband put up signs for me.

It worked! Though it only lasted 4 hours, we sold over $100 worth of stuff, plus we de-cluttered the house!

Sometimes ADHD can work for you. Had I not impulsively jumped into this project, I know it never would have happened.

I’m wondering when you’ve had flashes of positive ADHD moments!

Let me be the first to say that I am thrilled that ADHD is getting positive media coverage and that it’s going mainstream in that more and more people are understanding this condition. For instance, this month’s Health Magazine , is featuring an article on ADHD and The Today Show had segments both yesterday and today on ADHD (one on adult ADHD and one on ADHD in children).

But, does that mean it’s become more accepted as a medical diagnosis?

Back when I first became professionally involved in the field of ADHD, it was quite an uphill battle to get people to understand that ADHD is/was real. I do think we’ve made good progress; after all, it has now become a topic in mainstream media.

I’m curious to know how this is playing out in your life. Do people you come across accept your ADHD or do they still insist it’s a character flaw or something you can overcome “if you only tried harder?” Let us know how mainstream it has become for you…

One of the things I love to write about is hypersensitivities. As in… being sensitive to certain fabrics, smells, lights and more. Little is written about this and it’s a shame, because most women don’t realize that ADHD and hypersensitivities often go together.

And it’s not just in women; it’s our ADD kiddos too who have meltdowns because of sensory overload. For many of us, it takes YEARS to figure out that clothes with tags make our kids grumpy. Or that wearing panty hose puts us over the top agitated. Or that we can hear the humming of the refrigerator in the next room. Or that we can’t tolerate what my daughter calls, “mouth noises.”

Does anyone else hate wearing nail polish? I swear, it feels like my fingers weigh 10 pounds each when I put it on. So I no longer do.

So here’s my tip of the day: stop fighting! If you hate wearing makeup, either stop wearing it or only put it on when you have to. If your kids are squirming all day because they can’t tolerate wearing jeans, give them sweat pants!

I highly recommend the book, “Too Loud, Too Bright, Too Fast, Too Tight: What to Do If You Are Sensory Defensive in an Overstimulating World“, by Sharon Heller. Read it and I promise you’ll feel so much better, knowing you aren’t alone.

Also, check out my article on this topic HERE

What makes your nerves shatter? Wool? Telephones ringing? Certain odors? Do tell!

Those of you who know me and/or my work, know that I try hard to teach folks with ADHD to forgive themselves. We are sooo hard on ourselves when we are trying to manage piles of paper, keeping our homes orderly, remembering important dates, managing our families, staying on top of things at work…and more.
You know how some weeks can be simply overwhelming. Well, I am having that kind of week, myself. I feel like I’m a target for anything and everything that possibly could be going wrong. But to save you the trouble of having to read about my week of insanity, let me focus on one area that really got me crazed.

I’ll be writing a lot about my kids. After all, this is about Moms with ADHD and Moms with ADHD who have Kids with ADHD. I belong in both categories. I have one daughter with ADHD and one without.
Mackenzie, the one *with* ADHD has other special needs. That means that once a year (usually more), we have to attend an IEP at school. An IEP is an Individualized Educational Plan Meeting where we discuss what her needs are and how they’ll be addressed.

Of course, my IEP is THIS THURSDAY and my papers aren’t in order. That’s where the “sick” part comes in. Though I’ve known about my ADHD for…oh…a long time now…and am considered an expert in the field, I still have my moments. And this is one of them. Papers make me sick. Or I should say, disorganized papers falling off my desk into piles on the floor make me sick.

One of my mantras when I offer presentations on ADHD is to do what you can to get the help you need. In my case, I lucked out. My older daughter, Kate, is extremely organized. Now, I could have chosen to spend hours looking for and organizing the papers I need for this upcoming meeting, but Kate was in town and she offered to help me.

She was able to pull together a binder with all the needed papers in oh…about 2 hours, tops. If I had taken this on, either it wouldn’t have gotten done, or it would have taken me literally weeks to finish this horrific task.
The moral of the story- if something makes you so distressed it makes you literally feel sick, due to your ADHD, think about what options you have in getting help. It could be hiring an ADD coach, a professional organizer. Or it could be as simple as asking someone you trust to help you out.

Time to put away the Tums!

Dear Friends,
I’m utterly thrilled and excited to offer you a whole new resource, here at www.momswithADD.com . But let me explain how this new site evolved.

After nine years of running the very successful ADDconsults.com, I’ve learned quite a bit from you. In recent years, I found that many people – women – were contacting me because they’d read my book, my articles and understood that as a woman with ADHD raising a child with ADHD, I had the unique perspective of understanding their own challenges.

Little is written about the unique challenges we women face, so I’ve decided to focus my attention on you- a woman with ADHD who is raising a child or two that also has ADHD.

I will be posting information about moms, kids and even a bit about my own experiences in raising my daughter, Mackenzie. Hopefully, my insights will help you along as you search for ways to make your life easier. I know how hard it can be!

Look for blog posts, articles, resources, products and other tidbits from me. You’re not alone on this journey; I’m here to help! And I’m glad you’re here!