I finally got to the point of being totally fed up. I could no longer close the drawer in my bathroom- well- 3 drawers- that contains my makeup and family medications. The irony of this is that I rarely wear make up, so why do I have a drawer full of products dating back to the 90s?
The meds drawer was also overflowing with everything from expired cold syrups to ancient Band-Aids.
There’s this misconception (see my longer list in my previous newsletter HERE) that people with ADHD don’t care about the clutter we accrue in our homes, offices and cars. I would venture to say, from the hundreds of emails I get from people all over the world, that nothing could be further from the truth: we care SO much, that we are constantly criticizing and shaming ourselves and searching everywhere for answers to the problem. We cut out magazine articles, read books on organizing, join Facebook groups and more.
We are obsessed with organizing stores. As I walk down the aisles of such stores- the islands of hope- my heart begins to race and my mouth waters- not because of the candy aisle next to check out, but because I’ve found the Holy Grail of Home Organization. I scour the shelves for solutions to all of my clutter problems and start grabbing. More often than not, I lug home bags of Lucite and plastic containers, mesh desk organizers and other things that I just know will cure the part of my ADD brain that causes me to create piles and clutter. {smurk}
Yesterday, I went to Bed Bath and Beyond (for those of you unfamiliar, it’s a home goods store). I have yet to leave that story without dropping at least $50. But this time, I had a very specific mission. Ok, I always have a specific mission, but yesterday, something clicked. Because I was so sick of seeing the over-stuffed drawers in my bathroom, unable to even find Tums if I needed them, I decided enough was enough.
ADD adults often ask me: “How do I get started on a project? I get overwhelmed, anxious, angry and then shut down. I don’t even know how to prioritize.”
I followed my own advice on this home project. Stick with me for a minute and see if this works for you, too.
We have a tendency to look outside of ourselves at our clutter, piles and other things around us- and what we see mimics how our brain functions, which is: here, there and everywhere. Up, down, over, around, and then we shut down.
What I’ve learned is that by going inward, we can find the answer fairly quickly and easily by asking this one simple question:
What is bothering me the most RIGHT NOW? And if I could cross that “thing” off my to-do list, which project would make me feel a whole lot better? In other words, what around you is making you feel sick or angry? What is giving you a migraine? What is causing you to snap at people you love? Unfiled tax returns? A desk loaded up to the sky with paper? Your unbalanced checkbook? A closet full of out of season clothes?
Ask this question yourself now and I promise you, you will know what you need to do to make yourself feel better. And once you do, leave a message in the Comment section below so we can help hold each other accountable.
Now back to the medicine drawer!
Great article Terry.
Um, all of the above — taxes, desk, dining room table, piles of stuff everywhere, dirty dishes… But I know that the area that will make the biggest difference is the desk/office. If I have a serene office then I can start there every day, and make a plan in (relative) peace. That and the dishes. So, going to do my dishes and work on my office today! WILL report back. 🙂
Thank you, Terry, for another soothing and focusing article.
Part of the organizing difficultly I have is there’s more stuff than storage space and so achieving “a place for everything and everything in its place” is not realistic no matter what I do, so I shut down. The solution is to have more space (bigger home) or have less stuff. If I had more space I would likely acquire more stuff and be back in the same difficulty in no time. We ADD’ers have lots of interests and love those shiny things.
Deciding what to get rid of has always been difficult for me but is getting easier lately after reading The Life Changing Magic of Tiding Up. Now instead of feeling like I am giving up stuff, or try to divine if I will ever need it again, or feeling obligated to keep it for some reason, or thinking I will fix it, or refurbish it, I ask myself if the item “sparks joy” in me. If not, I thank it for its service and send it off to its new life – donate, sell or trash. With what I have gotten rid of this year so far I have felt relief, less overwhelmed and more free! After all, I only gave up clutter, or haven’t needed it for the past 10 years, or the aunt that gave it to me 40 years ago passed 5 years ago and will not be hurt if I give it away, and it’s no longer nagging to be fixed!
So, to answer your question, I’m going to look for those things that spark joy and untangle them from that which does not. Working on the massive book collection this week.
Dishes done. Office in progress — and looking much better!
This is a great question to ask myself. Because that moment when you’re so overwhelmed it’s so hard to focus on just one thing. But breaking it down into small, easy-to-swallow portions can make miracles happen. I’m definitely going to ask this question more often. Thank you for sharing!
What was bothering me most was that I hadn’t spent time outdoors/with nature. Don’t know if that’s a thing everyone gets or not.
Got a cup off coffee and went and sat out in the back garden for a bit. It’s not warm today, but being under the sky with the wind and the trees and the birds flying about is soothing. Reminds you that you’re alive too.