Stop Rejecting your ADHD. Try This Instead.

Most people, me included, don’t love the fact of having ADHD. Simple things in life throw us off, sometimes to the point of self-loathing.


  • Can’t get laundry done
  • Meals are last minute and stressful
  • Bosses get pissed off
  • Friendships end
  • We feel like horrible mothers
  • We keep losing our way

Self-esteem drowns us and our outlook on life. We seek therapy, meds, coaching (all good things, generally!) and still, we falter and question our self-worth. Hopefully, with the help of treatment, this happens less and less. But still… we often suffer at times.

I believe that a big reason for this is not because treatment is ineffective; it’s because we hang on to our script: I am ADHD. I’m an ADHD’er. I can’t (fill in the blank).

I’m not at all dismissing the difficulties, the challenges, because I share them with you. What I’m suggesting is to stop fighting your ADHD tendencies. Stop identifying yourself as a procrastinator, as disorganized, a sufferer. I hate when I read that this person or that *suffers* from ADHD.

Instead, why not accept this part of ourselves? “I have ADHD AND I am a creative, kind, smart (fill in the blank) adult. I may stumble and tumble but ADHD does not define me.”

I’ve shared this many times but will again: Sari Solden and Dr. Michelle Frank, co-authors of A Radical Guide for Women with ADHD: Embrace Neurodiversity, Live Boldly, and Break Through Barriers like to say: Only dogs and furniture need fixing!” (read their article in Psychology Today).  

They continue to suggest that brain shaming is much like body shaming and hopefully, we are moving beyond both.

Are you?

Please drop a comment below in the comment section.

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What? You Haven’t Read This Yet?

The Queen of Distraction: How Women with ADHD Can Conquer Chaos, Find Focus, and Get More Done

By Terry Matlen, LMSW (that’s me!)

I always forget to mention my book as one I really really feel should be in your home library. I cover all kinds of topics related to women with ADHD:

  • How to manage clutter
  • Dealing with hormones
  • Relationships
  • Hypersensitivities
  • Moms with ADHD
  • …..and lots more!

Order your copy here!

Where’s Terry?

I’m on TikTok!

Short blurbs and tips for women with ADHD. C’mon in and visit me there:



I get a lot of emails and guess what the #1 question I get is:

Where can I find a professional in my area who can help me?

Hop over to and find help in your area. I will be adding new listings daily.

** If you are a professional or have a service or product and would like to be added, you can do so at Want to learn more? Email me at

Some of the top ADHD experts have already joined and you can, too. You’ll be in good company with Dr. Ned Hallowell, Sari Solden, Dr. John Ratey, Dr. Thomas E. Brown, Dr. Ari Tucker, Dr. Ellen Littman, Linda Anderson, Dr. Sharon Saline, Linda Roggli, Laurie Dupar, Alan Brown, Jeff Copper, Rene’ Brooks, and more.

Add your listing today!

Terry Recommends

Clear Stackable Storage Bins: 20! With Lids!

How can you find your things unless you can SEE your things?

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Exclusive! Looking for One-on-One Help with Me? Zoom Consultations

Feeling stuck? Need to get your life back in order? I can help! 

Let’s work together to help you get back on track (or get started on your journey!). I provide short-term sessions offering psycho-educational information, resources, support, and mini-coaching to help you get started- whether you’re looking to find someone to evaluate you or if you’ve been struggling your whole life and are ready to get unstuck, I can help.  

I get it. Because I have ADHD, too, and over 25 years of experience working with adults with ADHD.

(I have a limited number of slots available; if you don’t see a time that works for you, email me at    

The Queens of Distraction

Struggling to tackle paper piles, toy piles, projects and more?

Then join me and your fellow Queens of Distraction online in a private, secret room where we Get Things Done. We “get” it and are here to help you.

Where to find Terry Matlen:


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* Disclosure: I may earn commissions (usually less than the cost of 1/2 cup of lukewarm coffee) for Amazon purchases made through links in this post. The good news is, I don’t sell your information or steal your cookies.