What about “Last” Year’s Resolutions??

Last year, just at this time, I wrote an article listing my 2009 New Year’s Resolutions. It was the first year I’d ever made such a list because I’d always felt it was a silly thing to do. Especially for people like me who tend to forget such lofty goals within a week or two. Funny how ADHD can express itself, eh?

Here’s what I listed in my article last year:

1. Expand my social life by re-connecting with old friends and working on making new ones.
2. Return to my artwork and music
3. Work on my cooking phobia and return to the kitchen
4. Remember to take my ADD medications on a more regular basis and consult with my doctor about making possible changes
5. Tackle one SMALL de-cluttering project per week
6. Not come down hard on myself if I do not accomplish #5
7. Make an appointment with a financial planner
8. Spend more time with my elderly mother
9. Schedule overdue doctor/dental appointments
10. Be more patient and listen more intently to the people I love

Let me start off right now by saying…I did NOT accomplish many of the items on that list. But then again, I *did* check off some of them.

Now…I can choose to feel bad about the things I never got to. Or I can choose to feel good about the things I did accomplish. And…I can modify the list above to make it more doable for the coming year.

For example…

I did connect with a friend who, like me, is an amateur musician. We’d planned on getting together every Thursday night to “jam”, but life got in the way and we stopped. So instead of setting weekly goals in stone, only to cancel over and over until we stop altogether, I’ll see if we can commit to meeting once a month.
As for the financial planner meeting, well…that didn’t happen, either. But looking at this list a year later, I am again motivated to make that phone call.

What about you? What would YOU like to work on this year? Did you have a list last year that you’d like to modify? Feel free to post your resolutions in my Forums.

Happy New Year!

Don’t Worry: Last Minute Gifts are Here!

So we’re counting down the final days. Three days till Christmas and all is well.
Or is it?

If you’re still fretting over last minute gifts, I have good news for you. You can still get something special delivered for the holidays. No sweat, I promise!

Check out these *very* last minute items that will get there in time. Today, tomorrow, Thursday and even in some cases, Christmas day: Last Minute Gifts

The Things We Carry: Artists Confront Compulsive Hoarding

Since we’re all super busy with the holidays and everything you read about IS about the holidays, I thought I’d pass on this interesting article about an artist who had a fascinating show in NYC documenting all the things that were contents in his mother’s house. She was a compulsive hoarder and this show gives one an idea of just how serious this problem is.

The Things We Carry: Artists Confront Compulsive Hoarding

Kinda makes my clutter problems look like a piece of cake…

I’m in Love

…with this!

No jewelry or cookware for this gal! My husband got this extremely cool NeatDesk Desktop Scanner and Digital Filing System as my holiday gift this year and I couldn’t be happier.

Now, instead of scrambling for my important papers, I’ll scan them and file them on my computer for easy access. It scans business cards, receipts and documents. And it’s incredibly easy to use.

Sigh. I’m in love…

Join me Today at 1:00 pm (EST) for CHADD’s Monthly Ask the Expert Online Chat: Surviving the Holidays

Hi all,

Stop what you’re doing right now and come join me at 1pm EST today (Dec. 16) at the CHADD’s monthly Ask the Expert online chat. I’ll be taking your questions on the topic of How to Get Through the Holidays When You or/and Your Family Have ADHD.

To join the chat, please click HERE at 12:45 pm (EST) and follow the instructions on that page. This is an online chat only and no pre-registration is required! Just bring your questions!

See you soon!

What NOT To Do If You Have ADHD

In my last post, I talked about what NOT to do to prepare for the holidays if you have ADHD. One of my readers responded that it was refreshing to read a list of what NOT to do instead of what TO do, because she, as most of us, are overwhelmed with all the things we need to do but find hard to accomplish. That ADHD just keeps getting in the way.

So to expand on the idea of what NOT to do, in general, here is my list.

What NOT To Do If You Have ADHD

1. Do not compare your house, your family or yourself with anyone else. Of course, that’s something everyone should follow. But for those of us with ADHD, it’s too easy to feel our shortcomings by comparing ourselves with others.

2. Do not feel badly about “messing up.” Accept that our lives will be more challenging in general. Those without ADHD typically aren’t on high alert, worrying about getting to places on time, remembering names, meal preparation, having challenging children, etc. Give yourselves a break and relax a bit.

3. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

4. Do not get stuck in a bad job, marriage, toxic friendship, etc.

5. Do not blame your ADHD for all of your personal shortcomings. ADD is an explanation; not an excuse.

6. Do not stick with your current meds, therapist or doctors if they aren’t helping you. It can take quite a long time to find the right med/combo. Don’t give up!

7. Do not let your children wear white.

8. Do not forget about your own needs. You work so hard, harder than most, to get through a normal day. Allow plenty of down time, trips away from the kids, and whatever else it takes to replenish and renew.

9. Do not try to be someone without ADHD. You will battle disorganization, time management challenges, clutter, and more. As Sari Solden wonderfully states, “embrace your ADHD.”

10. Do not shop at the mall the week of Christmas. You are asking to fry all of your senses. Instead, do your shopping online.

Ok, who can add to the list?

Terry’s Top 10 List of Survival Tips for the Holidays

<p><b>I am getting a ton of ADD related newsletters</b>, telling me how to survive the holidays. They all have great suggestions, too. Like starting a to-do list. Prioritizing. Remembering the real reason behind the holidays. Delegating chores. Hiring someone to clean the house. Etc etc.<br />
<br />
<b>But I’m tired of reading the same ol’ same ol’.</b> So today, I’m sharing my list of what NOT to do to prepare for the holidays if you have ADHD:<br />
<br />
<b>10. Don’t buy a single can of pumpkin filling,</b> olives or bread crumbs until you check your pantry to see if there’s one, two or even 10 cans lurking behind the cereal. Trust me, you probably have some hiding in the back, somewhere.<br />
<br />
<b>9. Do not wear white.</b> Whoever came up with the term “winter white” should be shot. Everyone knows that if you wear white during the holidays, you WILL get cranberry sauce, ketchup and wine on it. No brainer. Even more important, do not let your kids wear anything other than blue or black between Thanksgiving and New Year’s.<br />
<br />
<b>8. Do not put up holiday lights</b>; more than likely, they’re already still up from last year. I can spot an ADD household a mile away. They simply unplug the lights and forget (?) to put them away. Go ahead, plug yours in. Great- you’re all set. End of story.<br />
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<b>7. Do not wait till the day before Christmas</b> or Chanukah to buy gifts. Stop what you’re doing right this minute and order your gifts online- all of them. As a matter of fact, check your email; today I sent out a newsletter with all the presents you’ll need- they’re all hand-picked, just for you. This alone will save you 15 hours of work. Now you can do all of your holiday shopping in 20 minutes. Really! You don’t get my newsletter? Sign up today on my homepage!<br />
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<b>6. Do not have the traditional dinner.</b> Are those sweat stains I see on your blouse? Let me help relieve your anxieties about your traditional holiday dinner: Who says you have to have a huge nerve wracking gathering at your home? Choose between A and B:<br />
<br />
<b>A. Have only the immediate family over.</b> That way you can get away with store bought chicken and sides or even carryout. Yes, I am letting you off the hook. Blame me, I can take it. Still feeling badly? Invite the gang AFTER dinner, for dessert.<br />
<br />
<b>B. Make reservations for dinner OUT.</b> Huh? You’re feeling guilty? Why do you always let other people’s feelings be more important than yours? Go for it.<br />
<br />
<b>5. If you DO decide to host the dinner,</b> do NOT invite Aunt Sadie and Uncle Jack. You know they don’t tolerate your hyperactive kids, unruly dog, cluttered house and chaos. Instead, invite friends and relatives who celebrate your unique family and home.<br />
<br />
<b>4. Do not stress over a messy house.</b> I realize not everyone can afford a cleaning crew to help you get your house in tip top shape for guests. If you’ve read my “<a href=”http://momswithadd.ning.com/page/books-ebooks-1″ target=”_blank”>Survival Tips for Women with AD/HD</a>”, you’ll note a few great tips on how to de-clutter your house in a hurry (among other things). Here’s one: Have each family member take 2 mega garbage bags. Assign rooms to each person and have them dump the clutter into the bags. Haul them out to the garage. After the holiday, bring them back in and put everything away. Ok, let’s be reasonable. That part will take a few weeks. It’s ok. Been there, done that. It’s not the end of the world. But I would suggest that you delegate one bag for important stuff that you need easy access to, like your bills, calendars, dog food, meds, etc. Place a sticky label on the ties with a note that says “Important” or “Need to File.”<br />
<br />
<b>3. Don’t even THINK about cleaning up the dinner dishes</b> till the next morning. Dump everything in the sink. Pour hot water and detergent on everything. By morning, everything will easily slide off. You’ll have a lot more energy to attack this chore, too.<br />
<br />
<b>2. Do not obsess over the fact</b> that you have 645 Holiday cards to send out, knowing it’ll be impossible to get them done in time. Here’s a great tip- Order your Xmas Cards <a href=”http://www.cardsremembered.com?a_aid=fa22ce24″ target=”_blank”>HERE</a> and let THEM send them out FOR you.<br />
<br />
<b>1. Do not force your ADHD kids to wait till dinnertime</b> for their meal. Again, rule breaking is in order here if you and your guests want a pleasant dinner. Allow the kids to eat when they are hungry. Nothing can break a holiday spirit faster than irritable kids.<br />
<br />
<b>There- you made it!</b> Now one last thing: write down what you did this year that worked and what didn’t. Write down your menu and anything else you think will help you get through this next year. But…don’t ask me where to put it. I need to digest my Thanksgiving turkey, first.</p>

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