This is a very exciting event I want to share with all of you.
Discover the latest advances, strategies and alternative treatments from the world’s leading authorities, experts, and organizations as the ADD /ADHD Community comes together for the first ever ADHD Awareness Expo. Best of all- it’s FREE. September 12-18. Online.
Register HERE
Today’s guest blog/article is written by my colleague and friend, Kevin Roberts. Kevin has just published a book, “Cyber Junkie: Escape the Gaming and Internet Trap.” If you or someone you love has ADD, chances are, you can totally relate to the title of that book, alone. More about that later-
I’ve known Kevin for years and let me tell you- this man is brilliant. He is bilingual x 3 or 4 which I believe means he is polyglot (check Wikipedia). He’s an educator. He’s a coach. He’s a musician. He’s also probably the funniest person I’ve ever met. And the list goes on.
Underneath all of these incredible talents, is a man who really “gets” ADD and he has made it his mission to help people, especially students, succeed in spite of it. His humor, paired with intuition, understanding and humor, has taken many many young people forward in ways they never thought possible.
I’m excited to see that Kevin has published this book. It’s so new; my own copy has only just arrived at the doorstep, so watch for a review here soon.
In the meantime, Kevin has graciously written this article for my site and what a great time to post it- just as kids are returning to school! You, as moms, know how difficult it can be to get your child to turn off the computer, Wii, Game Boy, etc.
This article will give you some specific tools to help your own “cyber junkie.” And now…
The Cyber World: Mother’s Motivational Ally
By Kevin Roberts
I am not a mother, but I might as well be. I run study groups out of my home for ADHD kids and I am an adult with ADHD as well. I see 30-40 kids per week; most come over for 3-4 hours at a time. I have five computers available and video game consoles for break time. While these electronic amusements are powerful motivational carrots, they are also ripe ground for abuse.
I assess each child’s homework load upon arrival to my study groups, and, since almost all of them are cyber-oriented, we come up with a reasonable amount of work that must be completed before they can have a game or computer break, which is usually limited to 15-20 minutes. I use game and computer management tools to eliminate the need for monitoring. These tools are quite sophisticated nowadays. When the time’s up, the game shuts down! Like most ADHDers, I can easily fall into negativity; I take great pains with my ADHD students to make sure that I am not one more hyper-critical and nagging adult in their lives. Computer and game management devices help me a great deal in this pursuit. I recommend that all mothers (and fathers) make use of these tools. I have seen them transform families!
Given the enormous power of the cyber world, I also strongly suggest that mothers with cyber-oriented children come up with a behavioral modification plan. Link “screen time” with other behaviors you’d like to see. You need to come up with a system that links desired outcomes with the privilege of playing video games, or simply watching TV! You can use a spreadsheet, poster, or simply a piece of paper with desired behaviors on one side and rewards on the other. It is useful to make copies so you can have a new sheet at the beginning of each week. If you’re anything like me, it would also be good to get the support of a friend, preferably one who is high in follow-through. I find that I am great at starting innovative projects, but struggle to keep them going. Find a friend who is willing to check in with you a few times a week to see how things are going. DO NOT TRY TO CREATE CHANGE WITHOUT SUPPORT.
Read the rest of Kevin’s article HERE
Kevin Roberts is a recovering video game addict who runs support groups to help others struggling with cyber addiction get their lives back on track. He is a nationally recognized expert on video gaming addiction and a regular conference speaker. Roberts has a background in education and is the developer of a sixteen-module curriculum designed to give those with attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), often a driving factor of video game and internet addiction, the skills they need to succeed. Cyber Junkie is his first book.
You have to read this. It really hits the nail on the head for those of us moms with ADD who dread school starting. Papers. Forms. New clothes. Schedules. Getting up early.
Read her post, School Daze, HERE
Over the last few years, I’ve gotten to know a remarkable man- a practicing child, adolescent, and adult psychiatrist named Dr. Charles Parker- who runs the sites www.CorePsych.com and www.CorePsychBlog.com.
Dr. Parker and I have had a number of discussions about medications and the general misunderstanding many physicians have in prescribing meds for their ADHD patients. I’ve been following his blog and always come away learning something new or seeing things in a new perspective that I hadn’t understood before.
Dr. Parker has just released a very important Ebook that I think everyone needs to look at. It’s called “ADHD Medication Rules: Paying Attention To The Meds For Paying Attention” and it can be downloaded from his site as an eBook HERE .
He covers unique and interesting topics, including the various things folks with ADHD tend to avoid; whether it’s intimate relationships or starting/finishing projects.
But the part I really find fascinating is his approach to understanding one’s biology and how that affects the way medications work- or don’t work. Particularly interesting is his fabulous explanation of the therapeutic window.
Do yourself a favor. Download Dr. Parker’s eBook. It just might help to point you in the right direction for getting the proper help, especially when the treatment you’ve gotten in the past simply is not working for you- or your child.
Download his book here:
“This book will surely become a classic. If you are an adult with ADHD, Dr. Barkley can help you make sense of your lifelong struggles and develop a clear roadmap for overcoming them. Stories and examples from others facing the same challenges bring Dr. Barkley’s ideas to life. I will certainly recommend this easy-to-read yet scientifically based book to everyone who comes through our adult ADHD clinic.”–J. Russell Ramsay, PhD,
Order your copy HERE
I know, I know. You’ve tried everything to tame your papers. Well, a dear reader contacted me recently about this product- the FreedomFiler. She told me that it really works for her and hoped I’d pass this along. So that’s what I’m doing. I checked out their site and I have to say…I’m impressed!
Check it out HERE
These are two songs that make me WANT to exercise. Try them on for size, too. Make sure your sneakers are nearby:
1. Promises Promises (Dionne Warwick)
2. No Such Thing (John Mayer)
Got a favorite? Do share!
I read an interesting article in the Detroit Free Press that quoted a psychologist friend/colleague of mine, Dr. Arthur Robin. Dr. Robin is a respected expert on ADHD. Though the article is not specific to ADHD, I thought you might find it helpful.
Read it HERE
Do you put dinner in the oven only to forget it’s in there, thus burning your chicken, roast, turkey, etc?
I found this totally cool and helpful device. It’s a Digital Oven Thermometer with Remote Pager. Here are some of the features:
Check it out HERE
Recently, I was interviewed by Laurie Sanchez from LifeScript.com about how to manage your ADHD child. My pal Rory Stern was also quoted in the piece, offering many helpful tips as well.
Read the article HERE then come back and share some of your own tips!
What an adorable, clever way to manage your extra cords! The Electro Man \turns one wall outlet into four. Check it out HERE
I’ve been working for months on re-designing and setting up my new home office- a space where I can work but also where I can retreat to in order to get away from the madness of everyday life. My objective was to create a practical work space while retaining a sense of tranquility and calm. In addition, the space had to double as a guest room for the occasional out-of-towner.
The work tables and cabinets have been purchased and assembled. The painters are long gone. There’s even a new sofa bed and recliner as well. I’ve spent days unpacking boxes and putting things away. Even the supply closet is looking pretty fine. But I’m stuck!
Getting stuck is nothing new, but I do find that analyzing WHY I’m stuck, often unlocks the key, allowing me to move forward. Often times, it’s simply the ADD “overwhelm”- a feeling you all are more than familiar with.
But in this case, the hardest work is now complete. So why is it nearly impossible to unpack those last few boxes?
I think I’ve figured it out. Because it’s happened to me many times before:
I’m afraid of finishing a project because then I’m faced with that sense of emptiness and the gnawing, anxiety-laden question of: WHAT DO I DO NEXT?
It’s facing that dark abyss– the not knowing what to tackle next. Not knowing which project at hand to work on next. Or worse, having TOO many projects and not knowing which one to choose.
Could procrastinating, then, serve a different function sometimes? Could it be a way to avoid making the NEXT decision? Not just the “where does it go?” decision, but, “now that I’m done, what do I do? Is it, in part, anxiety in disguise?
Does this ring true for you at times? Share your thoughts in the Comment section below.
Taking a shower, at least for me and many I know with ADHD, isn’t a simple grooming ritual. It’s a time to…
1. Brainstorm new ideas for decorating the living room.
2. Ruminate over what a co-worker said the day before and wondering why the words still sting.
3. Reminisce being a little girl, hunting for 4 leaf clovers, with no other care in the world.
4. Mentally prepare dinner
5. Suddenly become incredibly creative: planning a new painting, writing a new song, screenplay, poem <fill in the blank>
6. Worry about the kids
7. Remember all the bills that have yet to be paid
8. Simply daydream
…which of course, causes us to lose sight of the time and find ourselves yet again late for work, getting the kids off to school, etc.
I found a solution to the problem. It’s a clock that you put in the shower! You can keep daydreaming, yes, but the clock will remind you when to stop. Check it out HERE.
Every weekend, our newspaper delivers a special supplement that is chock full of interesting tidbits that focus on home living: recipes, decorating, home repair, etc.
Last week, an article ran titled “7 Easy Steps to Dressing a Table for Dinner” and I just had to laugh. The piece was chock full of great ideas for displaying a beautiful dinner table, but how does that help me if I can’t figure out WHAT to cook, let alone how to display it like an artist’s masterpiece?
Here are the seven steps:
1.Pick your theme
2. Start with a great base
3. Pick powerful plates
4. Add flatware
5. Select gorgeous glassware
6. Tuck in a napkin
7. Add layers of fun
So…I came up with the Matlen version:
1. Theme: Circus. That’s pretty much how you’d describe mealtime at my house.
2. Base: Vinyl table mats. Easy to clean up.
3. Plates: Paper. Ok, kill me for not going green. But for me, it’s all about survival.
4. Flatware: Plastic. Kill me again.
5. Glassware. Hmm..they suggest gorgeous. Do plastic cups come in patterns?
6. Napkin: why is this one singular? With my crew, it’s a stack in the middle of the table. I can’t tuck in 10 napkins under one (plastic) plate.
7. Fun: How about playing The Guessing Game? All members of my family have to guess what’s on their plate. Losers get to wash, er…throw away the dishes, while mom retreats to the hammock to recover from the train wreck of a dinner preparation.
So, do you think I should submit my ideas to the newspaper?